Author: asianjasmineyoga

“In order to be myself, first I had to destroy what I was telling myself I had to become.” 

There are always at least four corners to a room, two sides of a story, three dimensional perspectives, but from where we are standing, we can only see part of it. It takes courage, an open mind and an open heart to receive the possibilities, that maybe – just maybe, other stories, sides, or perspectives exist. Maybe, if we have a little courage to twist ourselves, our view, there will be another way of seeing. From where we are standing, with our limited vision, there is always something hidden, whether we realise it or not. Hence it is necessary that once in a while, we reset our perspective. Turn around and look towards our blind spot. Whether it is ‘in line’ with whatever side, story, or perspective we currently hold, is another matter.

We are often so fixated on clinging to our story, side or perspective as the only one there is. The righteous one. By doing so, not only we miss the oportunity to broaden our horizons, but we also compress our heart into a small compact space enclosed by walls. The beauty of being human is our ability to use imagination and to enjoy a free will. So why don’t we let ourselves imagine beyond our imagination? Once we stop using our imagination, stop questioning, stop looking beyond the horizon – we stop growing.

At one point in my life I thought there was only one way to believe, the way my ancestors believed. No questions needed asking, no questions were even allowed to be asked. I thought that was the only way, and that everyone lived like that. One good friend once asked me some probing questions which I hadn’t dared formulate, let alone ask myself. But her questions echoed in my mind for a long time, bouncing back with more and more questions. Then I started seeing different points of view, and the wall I so studiously built around my life expereiences started coming apart. In the end it completely collapsed. My friend’s questions made me question myself – was my way really the only way, the only possibility? The denials I had gone through soon after, the anger of partying with something I had held so dear for so long, and which evidently no longer served me… Knowledge is akin to sand – it is impossible to hold on to. I remember my bitterness, looking out from beyond my crumbling walls, distorted corners. A new exciting possibility to explore, which had been there all along, but blinded as I was by the wall of my own making I could not see it before. So I stepped out, I searched, I investigated. Since then, I have not stopped; since then I am always coming out my comfort zone, constructing new perspectives, knowing that one day I might deconstruct them and reconstruct something else altogether.

There is so much we still don’t know, and sometimes we may not want to, but by expanding our ability to see in a different way, we might find something new, something which may not necessarily be in line with our current thinking. This new perspective will scare us, threaten our previous beliefs, shake our very foundation, make us indignant, uncomfortable, angry, offended… But don’t be in a rush to reject it. Explore the possibilities. See it in different way. Wring out your mind. Open your heart. Listen carefully, see beyond the obvious, let it rest in your heart, let the echo bounce back. Does anything resonate with you? If the answer is yes, even in the slightest degree, isn’t the idea worth investigating further before we get fixated again on one option?  There is nothing certain in life, except birth and death, so why do we assign certainty to something that plainly isn’t so?

Once we can see beyond our fixated view and realise that a new outlook might demolish our current beliefs, don’t give up on questioning it, investigating it.

The learning curve has just begun. Keep exploring the possibilities, the extremities. You might experience confusion, anger, agitation, disbelief – but the journey of our human knowledge always goes through phases which might be described as ‘thesis – antithesis – synthesis’, in other words chaos and order. So stay with it, keep moving forward and keep your mind and heart open – there is no other way to keep learning than by deconstructing and reconstructions our knowledge. As life should be, a constant learning curve. After all, that is what has made us able to progress this far in this Earth, the constant of constructing – deconstructing – reconstructing. To find a new truth, first we have to be ready to question the old truth.

The theme of this month will be twisting, observing and questioning our perspective and ability to see in different way. Hopefully, we will then be able to reconstruct our views.

 

In the modern fast-paced world, where we expect results instantly, we often forget how to feel ourselves in our bodies, breathe, and slow down. We shun our capacity to feel and let our bodies operate on autopilot, taking over most of the decision-making process, so we can just move on from one task into another, and then another. Like a conveyor belt that keeps churning without even realising the last time it had a break. We forget how to give ourselves time to digest events, time to listen to our inner voice and our own feelings.

There is an inner chatter going on in our heads about what we should and what we shouldn’t do, and what we could have done but  didn’t. We judge ourselves on whether we have done enough, whether it is us or somebody else that screwed up. We expect ourselves to perform more to a higher standard. Wondering why one expectation crashed but the other didn’t, thinking about a third and trying to figure out how to avoid it from crashing down again. We have lost the ability to see the big picture, that actually, whatever or whoever was at fault, now it doesn’t matter. The event had already taken place. And the future where we abandon our dreams in a distant horizon hasn’t materialised. We are swaying like pendulums, between regrets and expectations, from failures to dreams, from both extremes of past and future, and we forget that here we are, still standing in this moment. On the same Earth where all our past happened and under the same sky where we hang our dreams.

We are fixated on our perception of what we really need to make our life complete. We spend all our efforts to plan, create and recreate to align with this perception of our ideal future. The perception of what we must have, that we couldn’t life without, that if we don’t have it our life will be empty. We draw up long lists of things to make this perception come true. And on that long list, we forget at least two things. It’s the breathing and the happiness because what is a body without the breath? It is just a corpse. And what is a life without happiness? It is just torture.

We are so blinded by the glitter of our perception of that ideal future that we miss the opportunity to enjoy the moment. Persistently, we keep wanting what we don’t have and taking for granted what we do. Things that we do have that some other people don’t, and will probably never have. But in this moment we have the time and opportunities that will never come back again. We can’t comprehend how we should be more appreciative of what is right here right now.

The story of the past is a unique story for everyone. There may be tears, disappointment, memories in our hearts that have glued together. There may be laughter, love, fulfilment. There may have been people that have really touched our hearts – we might still be able to see their fingerprints on it. Their faces might be blurred as we walk further forward, but we will always remember how they made us feel.

Those experiences, feelings, we lock them inside us, rarely allowing them the time to come to the surface. We are afraid to let them surface even once, as it may lead to other uncomfortable truths. It’s Pandora’s box. But we need to honour all our experiences, even the painful ones. Because only in that moment we learn the strength to get back up and try again. To stand up, collecting the last pieces of our heart, and move on. Only then we can admit we had been broken into an unimaginable array of pieces, inhaling every last bit of pain, realising there is no other expectation other than taking one step at a time. By receiving and understanding our limitations, we can grow beyond anything we knew previously.

The future is the path we are taking in the belief that it would lead us towards happiness. But what is happiness? Without being really sure what it is, we often expect it to envelop us once we have attained certain things we currently desire, be it the best work opportunities, the best house, the best dress, or the best yoga poses. But in life, there is no such thing. Once we reach the end of that thread of desire, we realise how short-lived the feeling of ‘happiness’ is. We are seeking one achievement after another, goal after goal, milestone after milestone, but happiness is still far away. We forget that each goal we reach, each milestone, signifies that we have developed in some way. As we hike the path we have chosen, we progress towards learning. We consciously take each step on the path leading towards our chosen destination, harvesting the persistence and the patience to keep on track no matter the obstacles, all the while being grateful and appreciative of what we have achieved thus far.  Only when we can see eye to eye with ourselves, then we can find our contentment. Once we let ourselves free from the knots of the past, and the pulling strings of the future, then we can truly see how the journey is making us stronger, better.

So next time we are in a yoga class, rather than trying to recreate an Instagram shot of some distant celebrity out of context, perhaps we might try to look into what has been left unsaid. Behind every such photograph there are real people bringing their stories, their frustration, their wounded inspiration and pieces of a broken heart and unfolding it onto their mats in tears, sweat, pain, laughter, hours of dedication and practice, understanding and mastering their bodies and their minds, persistently and patiently. We can learn from them to harness our own patience and persistence, to improve our practice. Not because we demand an instant result, but because we commit to taking the journey of learning our own body, our own mind. Untying the knots of the past, releasing the silver thread of expectations and judgements of the future, and taking the journey of the moment.

What we have, whether we think it is enough or not, is often dependent on our perceptions. We can always complain and wish to have more, but we could also have less. When I was growing up, my Mum used to say: “If you keep looking above you, will hurt your neck and you will always see a lot of things to reach for. Peaks after peaks, mountains after mountains, the sky is limitless. This way we will never feel that we’re enough. So let’s learn to be kind to ourselves, and instead focus on our track, and appreciate how much we have gained and how far we have walked”.
So let us learn to be grateful for what we have. To be persistent yet patient, to keep moving forward one step at a time. Let us keep our courage alive and let the fear push us out of our comfort zone. We have all been scarred, some deeper than others. Let us not waver in our intention to be kind, especially towards ourselves, and not be judgmental. Between past and future, there is a balance. Learn from the past, walk towards the future but LIVE only in the present.