2004 new year eve, i was in Japan when the telephone rang. my husband in that time were a diplomatic corps interns.
he woke me up
“wake up!”
“what? what time is it?”
“just passed 3am”
it was winter. my first winter. ever in life.
“hurry up, we need to get to the consulate as soon as possible!”
“why?”
“i need to work! they called me for work. emergency.”
what moved us from central java to capitol of jakarta were the Sari Club bomb attacked. Me and him were on the list for teaching in some embassies, for him whise grew up in US. me, just the australian who insisted i had to be on the list. as well as the NZ.
“why?” i said while trying to heat up the little electric heater of the smallest flat i ever live in the middle of osaka.
“there is a tsunami!”
“eh what?!? here?!?”
“no! in Indonesia! we have to go to consulate to help prepare the statement! all the diplomatic corps had to logged into.”
there were were, the big tv showed the wave folded through the shores bigger than the biggest mosque of aceh. Him, working behind the desk answering phone speaking in japanese while i was sat there thinking, i am not even able to speak Japanese what am i doing here?
we went through massive and massive several different functions after, before i decided to went back to Indonesia.
I divorced him less than a year after, which i had never planned to put it in public until my ex husband from British put his name on to the court evidence statement which for life able to be accessed by anyone, including my children.
i divorced him after as i had not able to tell him between those Jakarta – Bali -Osaka – Bali – Jakarta that our first sexual encounter at one of the Australian diplomats were sexual assault.
only after one of my astrolasia female friend insisted that after each word of no or gesture of no, each movement of sexual attempt can be treated as sexual assault.
i didnt say that to him. we managed to find a common ground and i tried not to dig anything anymore about that or speak to anyone anything. until the family court of 2019 i saw my 2nd ex husband used him to discredit me using that i would always use sexual harassmentand sexual assault as my prerogative to discriminate male.
now i have to explained to the world in case at some point my children would be able to access the story of the court.
[on the foot note:
you know how difficult diplomats to divorce as muslim in Indonesia especially as a woman?
- i had to wrote the letter directly to the head of the department of foreign affairs stating that our marriage were not able to be amended anymore.
- i had to agree to return the dowry
- i had to agree wouldnt received any maintenance
- oh well – doesnt matter – the british ex husband even put me to court drained my money that i had never received a penny and refused to give me any maintenance except allowed me to in the house. [oh hello?!? just a babe! no two babes – hmm 10 years not a penny?] never mind the neighbourhood and the Chinese community that once in a while pop into my internet screen had known anyway how to pop in when i am not aware of.] thanks for the help from everyone anyway.
Asian Jasmine Yoga 